Tending to Relationships: A Call to Reconciliation

As the holiday season draws near, many of us look forward to gathering with family and friends. However, for some, these gatherings carry the weight of unresolved tensions, unspoken words, and fractured relationships. What if this year, instead of simply sharing a meal, we shared healing and reconciliation? What if God used you to bring peace to those relationships?

The Christian journey is deeply relational—first with God and then with one another. Relationships can be messy, but God never shies away from a mess. He steps in, bringing healing, restoration, and hope. Today, let’s explore practical, biblical principles for tending to our relationships and embracing the ministry of reconciliation.

The Call to Reconciliation

Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 5:18 remind us of our mission: “God has restored our relationship with him through Christ and has given us this ministry of restoring relationships.” This call to reconciliation is not optional. It’s a ministry entrusted to every believer. God, through Christ, reconciled us to Himself, setting the ultimate example. Now, He asks us to extend that same grace to others.

Why Relationships Matter

Relationships are always worth restoring because they reflect the very nature of God. As Philippians 2:1-2 exhorts: “Agree with each other, love each other, and be deep-spirited friends.” Our ability to get along with others is a mark of spiritual maturity. When believers exhibit broken fellowship, it sends a poor testimony to the world. Instead, we are called to love deeply, show unselfish concern, and pursue peace—even when it’s hard.

Peacemaking: What It Is and Isn’t

True peacemaking is an active, intentional process. Here’s what it’s not:

1. Avoiding the Problem: Ignoring conflict or pretending it doesn’t exist is not peacemaking. Jesus, the Prince of Peace, never avoided hard conversations.
2. Appeasing the Problem: Being a doormat or giving in for the sake of peace is also not biblical. Peacemaking requires honest communication and mutual respect.

Practical Steps to Tending Relationships

If you’re wondering how to begin restoring a broken relationship, here are nine biblical principles to guide you:

1. Talk to God First

Prayer prepares your heart and brings healing before you engage with others. David’s example in the Psalms shows us the power of “ventilating vertically” to God rather than gossiping horizontally.

2. Take the Initiative

Don’t wait for the other person to make the first move. Jesus taught that reconciliation takes priority—even over worship (Matthew 5:23-24).

3. Sympathize

Use your ears more than your mouth. Listen without being defensive. Even when you don’t agree, understanding their perspective can foster healing.

4. Own Your Part

Admit your own mistakes, even if you feel justified. As Jesus said, “First get rid of the log in your own eye, then deal with the speck in your friend’s eye” (Matthew 7:5).

5. Attack the Problem, Not the Person

Focus on finding solutions rather than assigning blame. Harsh words stir up anger, but kind words promote understanding (Proverbs 15:1).

6. Cooperate as Much as Possible

Peace often comes at the cost of pride and self-centeredness. Romans 12:18 reminds us: “Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody.”

7. Emphasize Reconciliation

You may never agree on every detail, but you can restore the relationship. Reconciliation focuses on the person, not the problem.

8. Establish Safe Boundaries

Reconciliation doesn’t mean enabling harmful behavior. Healthy relationships require trust and respect. Boundaries protect both parties and create space for genuine healing.

9. Stay Close to God

A strong relationship with God is foundational for restoring relationships. As James 4:8 promises, “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” When we abide in Him, He equips us with the grace, patience, and wisdom needed for reconciliation.

A Ministry Worth Pursuing

Reconciliation is not easy, but it is always worth it. Whether the broken relationship involves a family member, friend, or coworker, God calls us to be peacemakers. As Jesus said in Matthew 5:9: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God.” This holiday season, let’s take steps toward reconciliation—first with God, and then with one another. Imagine the healing that could take place if we allowed God to use us as instruments of His peace.